Archive for the '11 – [ H U M O R ]' Category

25
Sep
08

President Zardari: O’ Behave!

Is there a need to send a reminder to our dear President that he should focus on the job at hand instead of loitering after the GOP vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin?

Having declared her as ‘gorgeous‘ upon their first interaction went on further to say, “Now I know why the whole of America is crazy about you.”

And when a handler from the President’s entourage requested the two politicians to keep shaking hands for the cameras, Zardari added (suggestively perhaps?) that, “If he’s insisting, I might hug!”

Dear Mr. President, while we are well aware of your countless frolics back home as far as being a womanizer is concerned, please remember that you are there to deliver a very serious message across and not to engage yourself in to further scandals/affairs.

In an age and time where each and every word uttered, any emotion shown, any body language suggested is sliced, analyzed, discussed, and sensationalized beyond imagination, it is important to keep things in check.

There is harm in having fun but let’s not mix business with pleasure please!

Stick to your work.

Watch the video of this encounter below

20
Sep
08

Political Gimmicks

I came across this piece in my inbox today and thought I’d share with all 🙂 It’s in urdu and sorry for not putting up a translation to it as well. I am fasting and this requires effort. Maybe after iftar today! Have fun!

09
Sep
08

The Fruit of ‘Pakistani’ Democracy: President Zardari

All so called patriotic rallies, all sit-ins, all strikes and damages incurred to public properties and buildings, all efforts to get rid of a dictator have paid off! Democracy has won in Pakistan, Ladies, Gentlemen, Politicians, and Laywers (yes, the politicians and the lawyers are a separate breed in Pakistan). So what has been the ultimate and most promising thing to emerge from this struggle to be ‘democratic’ again?

Answer: President Asif Ali Zardari!

Ain’t that ironic! *chuckles*

All hail the new ‘democratic’ and ‘legally elected’ President of Pakistan: The man who has as many cases against him across several continents as the wide spectrum of his assets! The ‘Mr. 10%’ who rose from being a mere Environment Minister to becoming a President! The President of the very same country he was jailed in for well over a decade! This is Pakistani democracy! The easiest and most convenient way to rise in power and stay put, no matter how corrupt or vile you maybe.

Continue reading ‘The Fruit of ‘Pakistani’ Democracy: President Zardari’

26
Jul
08

Guess what’s the latest in spa pampering? Fish Pedicures!!!

Would you ever put your foot in to a fish bowl and let the fish nibble on your toes and skin?

The sensible answer to this, one might wonder, would be NO but hold up; fish pedicure is the most recent addition to spa treatments and is gaining massive popularity! No this is no joke. I’m serious! Dead serious!

What a unique alternative to the razors used for scraping away dead skin is this! And the way it works is simple. You put your foot in the water and the little fish called garra rufa aka Doctor Fish get to work. They nibble on the dead skin, cleaning it all away as that is their food source so to speak. Do they bite? Not at all. They got no teeth you see so its perfectly safe and all who have tried it have loved it stating the experience to be slightly ticklish.

Wonder if this would come over to Pakistan!

Click here to read more

23
Jul
08

Health & Diet! Common Questions Answered Here

Follow these instructions and you will NEVER have to worry about the future again!

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?  Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

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Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! … Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

22
Jul
08

WeCite Link-Fest

Britney working on new album [ Todays Zaman ]

Super cinema excitement in full swing [ Lahore Metblogs ]

Spanish police discover 400 websites inciting anorexia [ Terranet Plus ]

Supermodel Kate Moss makes brain-damage claims [ Stuff ]

Miley Cyrus wants to do Sex and the City for teens [ Holly Wire ]

Madonna, Britney joining forces again [ MSN Entertainment ]

New iPhone music to your ears [ Stuff ]

Tom Cruise for Top Gun sequel? [ Times of India ]

Don’t look if you are afraid of snakes [ Bella Sugar ]

Terminator Salvation Trailer [ Pop Therapy ]

14
Jul
08

WeCite Link-fest

New Yorker Cover

New Yorker cover shows Muslims, US flag burning, Osama-loving, Fist-bumping Obama! [ Huffington Post ]

iPhone 3G: great for new buyers, but upgraders beware! [ About.Electronics ]

Miley Cyrus Caught Up In Snap Scandal – Again! [ Female First ]

Fashion’s gone bulletproof for the super rich! [ The Economic Times ]

This Week’s Fab Favorite: Anne Hathaway Does Black and White Just Right! [ Fabsugar ]

Sex curse found at ancient Cyprus site [ ABC News ]

Aisam enters doubles final in US! [ Dawn ]

Salman Rushdie sets his sights on the ‘Bollywood Jordan’ [ This is London ]

Michael Caine: ‘Ledger Will Land An Oscar Nomination’! [ Female First ]

Lust in space: NASA must iron out the kinks in space sex if man is to settle on Mars! [ Telegraph ]

‘World’s oldest blogger’ dies at 108! [ ABC News ]

Blackberry Thunder: First Live Pictures! [ Slippery Brick ]




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